Real AYU：This is me

“What a cute baby!!” Just after people said this and tried to hold me， I always broke their expectations. I’ve never smiled to them but I’ve never stopped crying. I cried as if I was threatening by monsters， and my parents needed to make an excuse for my surly personality so that no one will be really upset about my rudeness. My life started as a shy and coward girl.

As I grow up， my father began to worry that I would be buried by peers in the future， because I was too shy and seemed too weak. What my parents decided was to take me to an examination room of a kindergarten， which was attached to the best university in my city. That kindergarten was attractive for my parents because once children entered that school， all children were guaranteed to enter the same elementary school and a junior high school that were also attached to the university. My parents thought that having an education on the same rail with familiar friends from the kindergarten is the best environment for me， because I don’t need to have any trouble for making new friends. My parents’ decision was absolutely right. I could proceed each step of my education， withoug having trouble for communicating with peers. Although my home class was changed a lot， there were familiar friends around me all the time. Until I graduate from my junior high school， I had great memories and I could share a happy school life with my old friends who were nice enough not to bury me. However， a big trial for my life was in the next step. In my city， there was no high school that was attached to the university. In other words， I was in the edge of my safety rail of an academic career which was surrounded by old friends. To go to a high school， every student must take a big entrance examination and pass it. I was really nervous for being separated from my old friends and entering to my new school life. I studied hard and did my best on the test to make my dream come true. The result was…. “Wow， I can’t believe this. I passed it!!”

My trial was not only to enter the high school， but how to adapt in a new environment. I was welcomed by the real world. I still remember that I was so nervous and worried in a new class on the first day of my high school. I was expecting that there is someone， whom I know， in the new class， but I couldn’t find any single familiar face. There were 40 students in my class， but all of my new classmates were strangers!!! When I passed the hard entrance exam， I was happy at first， but it turns to a fear， not a hope. Everyday， I was worried how can I make friends with them， how can I fit into that class and how can I compete with them. Since my high school was considered as the top school in my small hometown， I felt all of my classmates were competitors， who study so hard to enter famous universities， rather than friends to share our joys or swallows together. It was not surprising that there were many students who stopped coming to school because of pressures and loneliness. In fact， I almost lost myself， too. What I did as a confirmation of my existence was to accomplish something， which nobody in my school tried before， so that I can get admiration from others. I participated in English speech contest and fortunately， I got a prize and also a trip to Malaysia as an exchange student.

As an exchange student， I was supposed to attend a Chinese Malaysian high school. On the first day， I was so excited， even though I knew that there were many “strangers.” Since I was so happy to attend that school， I couldn’t think of any fear of meeting new people. This brevity came from my happiness for experiencing different culture， and communicating with people in different language. Since when I was in junior high school， English was my favorite subject. However， I had no chance to use English in Japan. I was so happy to have a chance to speak in English that I always smiled， unconsciously. Since I have never run out of smile， it let my new classmate in Malaysia to have a positive impression on me. I looked a friendly， easy-going and tender girl.

My friendship in Malaysia didn’t stop expanding and I began to fit into their school completely. As evidence， when I was walking in the school， I often warned by leader students from the discipline committee， because I was wearing NIKE shoes， which were not allowed in that school. Also， when I visited my friend’s house， her father talked to me in Chinese. I was often mistook me as a Chinese Malaysian student in there. I didn’t know that one language has such a big power to change my facial expression， my personality， and my life. My happiness from communicating people from different culture， by speaking in English， gave me a new friendship， confidence and a high self-esteem.

My trip to Malaysia was the beginning of my extraordinary interest in Chinese culture， especially language. After I left Malaysia， I began to have a hope for speaking in Chinese so that I can talk to any Chinese people who are in this world.